REFLECTIVE JOURNAL- 27- FIELD TEACHING DAY TWO (LESSON ONE)

4^TH MARCH, 2015

Today was “THE DAY.” My lecturer was coming to view our lesson. This was also the day the police had a road block in my area. What usually took me five minutes drive, took forty five minutes. My partner truly is a gem. She waited for me in spite of the delay. I told her to go ahead when I realized I had no alternative route out. However, she insisted that she was not going to leave me behind. I was already in the wrong frame of mind because of the turn of events, but my partner and I were able to keep each other calm. We therefore began supporting each other before we even entered the classroom.

We arrived in the nick of time, and we moved quickly to our classroom, then to the Principal’s office. We were unable to meet with the Principal once more, but we met our lecturer. Even though I knew she was here to assess me, I did not feel as anxious as I had been before. We went to the classroom after assembly. While my lecturer wanted us to begin our lesson immediately, we had to wait for the students to eat their breakfasts. My lecturer asked us to try to “speed them up.” For some reason I was not comfortable doing this, but I obliged. I understood why it needed to be done, but that did not change the fact that I felt uncomfortable.

My lecturer asked us about our experience  the first day. We were happy to report more positive encounters  with the teacher. I realized after that I should have spoken first about our successes or failures, but that was the human nature coming to the fore……the one that allows me to judge others before I judge myself!!! At least I had something noteworthy to say about the teacher..

Finally, the moment of truth arrived. I went to the front of the class and tried to call the students to order. I gave several instructions to remove all items from the tables, but of course that was a strange thing for the students because they were used to having multiple books on their tables while the teacher taught. I had to manually remove some of the items for myself. This was not a good start to the lesson.

 The classroom was also not arranged in the groups that we met the first day when we went to observe. We took it for granted that the furniture would have been arranged in the four group seating arrangements. I attempted to try to place some students closer to the others so that the class could work in groups, but some students were not cooperative. One girl in particular started crying uncontrollably and protested that she did not want to sit by any of the students. I was a bit annoyed at this because this girl was one who was always bold and outspoken, and she interacted with all the students in the class. I do not know why she choose this morning to "act up."  Eventually I got her to settle down, but another student started crying, and then another. I could not believe this was happening to us. What was going on with these students this morning? That experience unsettled me a bit, but the lesson had to go on.

Eventually we got into the lesson and I must confess, even though it did not begin on a positive note, there was a silver lining. This was the calmest and quietest I have ever seen this class, and I was very appreciative of that fact. While my partner and I felt proud about this, my lecturer was not impressed. She said to us, “Your classroom management was, WOW!!! You need to work on that! You need to be more firm with the children.” I felt saddened by that comment, not because  I do not know how to receive constructive criticism, but because I felt we had a great improvement from last week. I felt sad because I felt we even had the class more controlled than the co-operating teacher. I felt sad because after last week, I went home and pulled out my psychology and classroom management textbooks and I sought solutions for dealing with these children, because I desperately wanted to get it right. Yet, here I was being told that I had missed the mark. My lecturer had other comments for us, but for a moment I could not focus because I kept thinking to myself, “STRIKEONE!!!”

Sure enough, there was a STRIKE TWO!  My lecturer commented that I did not use wisdom in instructing the students. We did a Language Experience Approach Reading Lesson. As part of the lesson, I had to engage the class in reading the sentences. Some of the students were able to read the sentences fluently, however, I  thought  it best to slow down the lesson to facilitate those who were struggling with reading. My lecturer told me that I dragged that part of the lesson too long and that I needed to find another approach because some of the students showed that they were ready to move on. While I agreed with my lecturer on that point, I still did not know how best I could have improved my lesson to provide balance within the classroom. I felt as though there would always be a group who may be disadvantaged.  My mission now is to continue to research further to see how I can make this situation a win-win one.

Thankfully, my lecturer left us with a positive comment. She said the lesson was generally well done. That comment was not sufficient to pick my heart up from the floor, but I  need to learn to deal with it. It is a work in progress and I am learning everyday. I am glad for the opportunities to see my shortcomings, but the truth is, there is nothing to rejoice about when you work hard at something, and still fall below desired expectations.